I Can't Believe it's Me

    Over 10 years ago now, I remember being asked about being a "grandmother" The word or title "grandmother" was not one I wanted to carry. I was too young. There were many things I hadn't done becuase there just hadn't been enought time. At  this particular time I couldn't have told you one thing I was missing out on, but I did know I was't ready.

     My freetime did not have babysitting attached to it. So me being a "grandmother" was no with a capital "NO".
     Well life was constantly changing which always has a way of doing that. My marriage failed, severe depression, so sharing my love was something I had very little of. The first time being totally alone, The Good Lord know I couldn't  appreciate being a "grandmother" for sure. Being up and down...working 2 jobs to make ends meet, I made it to 2004. Alone 5 years searching for happiness, still very incomplete. Along comes Steve, and it was nice to have someone care and want to be a part of your life.
    That same year my daughter told me, "I am going to have a baby". This was cool. There's a guy in my life and I am going to be a "grandmother". Ready to shop, and wanting to be a part of this new joy. Alisha didn't live in Texas, she lived in The State of Colorado. The neat thing about Steve was he worked for the airlines and he put me on this list. This list was called a "standby" and something I couldn't fathom. But it was a good list for me to be able to travel with discounts. Great! Great! now I can be a part of this new life that makes me a "grandmother".
     It was't long after that I remember these very words from my son. We were discussing Alisha being pregnant and then Matt says are you ready to be a "grandmother" now? Smiling and then laughing I said I think I am....Matt says "good, because Beth is pregnant too"! Wowsie! Wow! The Lord sure has funny ways of making me feel like a special "grandmother" becuase I am not only going to be a "grandmother" once....but twice, and they are due 2 mos apart.